remembering our baby...

Every time I look at the little ticker at the top of the screen reminding me how many days it's been since we lost our baby, it's it also a reminder of the joy that baby brought us, if only for a short time.  And for those family members and close friends who actually read my blog, I realized something tonight when I was remembering this little one. Today would be the exact day in this pregnancy that I lost the baby in the last one. This exact day. It's amazing how God works. How awesome His timing is. How He constantly shows me that He is here with me. How He cares so deeply for me. How His love is shining through this new rainbow baby. How He is faithful and redeems. So with all that said, I am thankful to have had this experience. Our glory baby has ministered to our hearts more than most people we know.  Our baby taught me I control nothing, even though I think I do. I couldn't protect or do anything different to save his/her life. I felt helpless, and it was good for me.  God gave us hope through our tears. Hope that our little one is in heaven with our King, hope that out of pain comes a closer walk with Jesus and a hope of heaven.


I took these pictures tonight because it's all the physical reminder I have left of our glory baby. But what sweet reminders they are. And I lit a small candle in honor of McBaby and all the other angel babies out there. Thank you all for your love and support!

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month/Day

Not long after my miscarriage, I started researching it and found out many things, including the fact that October 15 is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. That day is quickly approaching and I want any of you who would like to to participate with me. All you have to do is at 7 pm, light a candle for our sweet angel baby or for one of your own. So many good things have been happening to us since this loss, and there will be more details in a few weeks, but I will never forget my time of happiness and grief that we had with our first sweet baby.

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, lots of things going on, and like I said, I will update in a couple weeks. In the meantime, you might get a few posts here and there of random things. I will probably post on this again on the 15th, but I wanted to give you all a heads up who might want to participate.

Jeremiah 31:3

I came across this verse and it totally touched my heart! What an amazing love our Heavenly Father has for us! And what a love to strive for in our lives with our family, friends, and everyone in this world. I feel this love for our lost angel baby as well as our rainbow baby! 


I have loved you with a love that lasts forever. I have kept on loving you with faithful love. Jeremiah 31:3


Once again I am reminded of His faithfulness! Happy Tuesday everyone!

giver of life

We sang these words again at church today...and just as they touched me the first time I heard them, they touched me even more today. I hope you read the words and see the significance for me. I'm so thankful for the Lord and His faithfulness to us!


Who, oh Lord, could save themselves, 
Their own soul could heal? 
Our shame was deeper than the sea 
Your grace is deeper still 

Who, oh Lord, could save themselves, 
Their own soul could heal? 
Our shame was deeper than the sea 
Your grace is deeper still 

You alone can rescue, You alone can save 
You alone can lift us from the grave 
You came down to find us, led us out of death 
To You alone belongs the highest praise 

You, oh Lord, have made a way 
The great divide You heal 
For when our hearts were far away 
Your love went further still 
Yes, your love goes further still 

You alone can rescue, You alone can save 
You alone can lift us from the grave 
You came down to find us, led us out of death 
To You alone belongs the highest praise 
To You alone belongs the highest praise
To You alone belongs the highest praise

We lift up our eyes, lift up our eyes 
You’re the Giver of Life 
We lift up our eyes, lift up our eyes 
You’re the Giver of Life 
We lift up our eyes, lift up our eyes 
You’re the Giver of Life 
We lift up our eyes, lift up our eyes 
You’re the Giver of Life 
We lift up our eyes, lift up our eyes 
You’re the Giver of Life 
We lift up our eyes, lift up our eyes 
You’re the Giver of Life 
We lift up our eyes, lift up our eyes 
You’re the Giver of Life 
We lift up our eyes, lift up our eyes 
You’re the Giver of Life 

You alone can rescue, You alone can save 
You alone can lift us from the grave 
You came down to find us, led us out of death 
To You alone belongs the highest praise 
To You alone belongs the highest praise
To You alone belongs the highest praise



I sure am praising Jesus today! But I will not forget the past few months of my life. I think about our baby everyday. Just wanting to hold her (by holding my tummy), talk to her, feel her kick, and imagine what things would be like with her here. And though I'm still sad that she's gone, I'm blessed by what God has shown me through this experience and what He has given me in the process! Thanks to you all for your continued prayers and support.

His Promise...

Yesterday on the way to dinner Jacob and I saw the biggest, most beautiful rainbow. It was a complete rainbow and at some angles it was a double rainbow. I haven't seen a rainbow like this in the "city" since we moved here, 3+ years ago. We were blessed with them more growing up in the "country"!

I felt God's presence all around me. I was amazed and in awe. He was showing me once again that He is right here with us, He won't leave us... He reminded me of His promise to us once again. That rainbow was a sign to me that He is going to give us a healthy, living rainbow baby one day!

I'll leave you with some pics of the beauty...bear in mind it was mostly through car windows with rain drops, and that the rainbow was so big, I couldn't get a single shot of it's entirety. The last one is my favorite. Hope you all enjoy!